The Joys of turning fifty!
Is there Joy in turning the big 5-0? Well yes and no.
Joys include you pretty much have settled into your life. You know where you are going and what you want to do. If not, you aren’t scared to try something new. Failure isn’t so scary anymore, you know there are failures in life and you learn from them. Your children have left the nest….. Well maybe, not so much true in my case but they are far less work! As a matter of fact, they can be an asset. Just yesterday they went to the grocery store and did all my shopping for me! Bonus, I have a child old enough to purchase alcohol for me! This is good and bad, I have a kid that’s old enough to buy alcohol for me and I have a kid OLD ENOUGH to buy alcohol!
Anyway, I’m getting off track which is normal for me!
Back to the joys of turning Fifty!
The joyous trip to the Dr. for your yearly exam that leads to the dreaded words! You ARE Fifty now you know that means it’s time for a COLONOSCOPY! It’s like the whole world comes to a screeching halt!!!!!!
NO, IT CAN’T BE TRUE!!!
Alas, it is true. I gave my DH so much grieve about doing his when he turned 50 that when my turn came around he bugged me and bugged me till I set it up. Which for the record I was going to do it without all the bugging. My Dad had polyps, non-cancerous so I would be setting up the appointment no matter what!
Well, the dreaded day came yesterday!
Of course, I had to prep for it two days before. So starting on Wednesday I wasn’t allowed to eat raw veggies, nuts, or anything with red dye. Well, let’s just say if it’s bland it’s allowed!
Then on to day two of the prep this one is the hardest nothing to eat except liquids. Can I just say YUCK!!! But I continued on… That evening I had to do the worst part of the prep! I know besides not eating it does get worse! That concoction that you have to drink!
I had it much better than my DH did. He had the old fashion prep where they give you a container of what looks like over a gallon with some mystery white powdery stuff in it that you can pick what flavor you want to add. Which I might add he said it didn’t taste like that at all!!
But like I said I had it way better. I’m here to tell when you have to have your colonoscopy you need to make sure you are getting what some call the Gatorade prep. I had to mix a brown bottle of clear liquid with a drink of my choice and sadly, beer is not any of the options. Any one that knows me will understand that one 😉
Anyway, after drinking the super sickening sweet mix, which by the way I mixed it with sprite, you had to drink 32 ounces of fluid of your choice. I chose 16 oz of water and 16 oz of broth.
Well, within 30 mins this stuff kicks in! So I decided to just stay upstairs in my bed right near my bathroom. Good Move! Thank Goodness this doesn’t last long, only about a little over an hour for me. I did follow the directions to a tee if you don’t you may not have the same results as I did.
Well after I felt I was pretty cleared out. I went to bed for the night only to wake up the next morning to have to repeat the whole process again!
Again I was very lucky. My DH was up all night “clearing out”.
I get up on doomsday to repeat the process. Same as above only now I’m only allowed to have 32 oz of water. Which I learned after the first time all that 32 oz comes right out BABY!
JOYS I tell you, JOYS!
I will say it was much easier the second time than the first since I knew what was coming. And again within an hour the task was done!
Now came the waiting for the actual appt…
We arrived on schedule and just before I get there a lady is walking in with pizza and I’m not talking about one pizza either. OH NO!! she had a CART to wheel the pizza into the building! TALK about TORTURE!
So I am waiting for my turn and finally they call me back into another waiting room. Seriously! Let’s get this over with already!!!
Again I wait. Till FINALLY, they call me back into the pre op/ recovery area. The nurse says welcome to comedy hour! Which was a nice way to break the ice!
After getting asked the same questions by each person that came and talked to me. Like do you wear dentures, or partials, have you had a stroke or heart attack, OMG NO BUT IF YOU DON’T GET THIS DONE I MAY!!!
Ok, finally the nurse comes back and gives me my IV, WOOHOO, she got it the first time with very little pain! This is a big deal to me since I have very small veins!
So I figure its the last step I’m ready to go!
Nope, I waited there for over a half an hour! Talk about anticipation!
Then finally the anesthesiologist comes in! It’s on like Donkey Kong now! Well, NOPE! She has to go through and ask the same stupid questions I’ve been asked time and time again, do you wear dentures or partials have you ever had a heart attack or stroke? I’M ABOUT TO! Ok, I just thought it, of course, I politely said no.
Then finally she wheels me back to the room and lo and behold what do I see? My doctor coming out of his room wiping his mouth! I sat there and waited till he had his lunch! I’m starving and he eats lunch! OK OK calm down Ginger! Let’s think this through, better that he ate before my procedure than to rush through it so he can eat!
I’m more relaxed now. NO, it wasn’t the meds I hadn’t received any yet!
So finally here we go I’m going to get this over with… Nope more questions! You guessed it all the same ones!!! Really! Don’t these people talk to each other??
Now before anyone comments that it’s procedure and that they need to make sure. I know all this but it doesn’t help!
So they have me roll over on my side put a pillow behind my back for support and …….
That’s all I remember!
I woke up in recovery to see the nurse bringing my DH back to see me.
I felt nothing. Like it never happened!
Like it never happened! Well, we know it did. But truly it was no big deal!
My DH asked how I was and I was like fine! Great as a matter of fact what we having for lunch! NO LIE!
Of course, we had to wait for the Dr. to come tell me how it went.
Guess what, I did great! No pylops, nothing! Clean bill of health. Well almost, I do have diverticulitis more on that HERE, he told me to eat more fiber. I faithfully eat my oatmeal every morning for breakfast. More fiber?? He said yes more fiber.
Well. thankfully that is the worst of my issues! Most of us Americans do not get enough fiber in our diets. Actually we Americans have very poor eating habits on a whole.
We are living longer and eating worse than our ancestors did. Not because of our diets but because of the advances in medicine.
We too need to advance in our diets!
So take my advice! Start eating better now it’s never too late to increase your fiber intake.
And I hope this helped you not be so scared to take the leap and get your colonoscopy! All in all, it wasn’t wasn’t bad. The best part is I don’t have to go back for 3-5 years!
OK, really the best part was going out to eat afterward!
But seriously go get it done! It’s for your health!
I came out pretty unscathed. Except for one thing….
Got a bruise from the IV. I’ll take it! Here’s to 5 years!